Do you love Jennifer Garner as much as I do??
I mean, I think she’s just the cutest, sweetest thing since apple pie, and I’ve been her biggest fan since her Alias days, through her 13 Going on 30 days, through her Ben heartbreak days, and now through her hilarious Instagram-cookingshow-farmgirl-greatmom days. I think she’s maybe in movies now? Doesn’t matter. I officially just follow her because I think she’s one of the few actresses I could be friends with and I genuinely just think she’s an amazing person. (I’ve heard this is the case from people who have worked directly with her…she’s the real deal.)
So just to be clear and make sure we’re on the same page. Me + Jennifer Garner = Girl Crushin’.
Which is why this hurts to admit this: I do not agree with her “Yes Day” philosophy. If
you didn’t know, it’s a day every year JG is intentional in saying “yes” to her children. All bets are off, a few rules/guidelines are set in place, and for one day she is at her kids’ disposal and is not allowed to say “no”. It’s based on the book, “Yes Day!” by Amy Krouse Rosenthal where parents take a special day to say yes to things like pizza for breakfast, food fights and late bedtimes. In a world of parenting where “no” is typically our first response – no sprinkles on your pancake, no sleeping in, no staying up late, no playing until chores are done, no extra snack, no soda, no no no – it can often times feel like we are just one big barrier to fun. So I get it.
But here’s where I think Yes Day goes wrong:
I think EVERY day should be a YES DAY!!
YES, you read that right. Why save our Yeses for one day?? I’m not suggesting we throw caution to the wind, but parents today have so much information about everything that could go wrong: all the harmful ingredients, all the studies behind too much screen time, all the side effects to over-indulgence, etc – we sometimes go into protection mode and just automatically respond to our kids with a “no” because we think we know what would be best for them. And typically we do.
But what if that bowl of ice cream after school deflects a hard day your kid had at school and creates a joyful & safe opportunity for your kids to open up about their day? What if allowing kids to build a fort in the living room is what they need to get over a sibling rivalry? What if saying yes to randomly going to a movie becomes one of your kid’s favorite childhood memories later in life?
As parents, we often say the things we miss the most from our pre-kid days is a sense of freedom and spontaneity. We lament the days where we could pick up and go and do as we please. But what if we allowed ourselves more of those moments and taught our kids that they are worthy of so many of our yeses?? Again, I’m not saying that we throw rules and expectations out the window. But just as much as we are there to protect, shield, and guide them through making decisions as they navigate life, I think we should teach them to savor, enjoy, and experience all that life has to offer.
Some of my favorite times with my kids is when I give an unexpected “yes” and act out of spontaneity. I’ve done everything from the little things (turning right instead of left to surprise the kids with a trip to the ice cream store instead of going home) to the big (taking my daughter to the doctor and skipping the rest of the day to have lunch, see a movie and buy a Christmas dress). We easily could do all of that on the weekend, but it was one of those random moments where schedules aligned and the teacher was ok with my daughter missing school, and we created a special moment. Or my son asking if he can paint his nails with all us girls, and me saying “sure!” and then painting one hand green to be The Hulk and one hand blue to be Captain America (instead of saying, “sorry bud…just for the girls!”)
So what say you? Have you created your own “Yes Day”? Do you think our BFF JG is on to something or is she over-complicating something that should just be a part of our everyday way of life? If so, we’d love to hear from you…what’s the most spontaneous YES you’ve given your kids?!
